How My Near-Death Experience Changed Me

Warning: Graphic Language

Shortly before the COVID-19 lockdowns across the country, I was hospitalized due to a stress-induced seizure.

I had trouble breathing and I kept vomiting on the way to the emergency room. My vision was dim and spinning. By the time I was admitted, I was inches away from death, and with a mix of science and miracle, the medical staff brought me back to consciousness. I was released the next morning and I remember enjoying a good old-fashioned cheeseburger, something that I'd not eaten in months due to watching my sugar intake.

Being close to death changes a person permanently. It's forced me to amplify my need to adhere to deadlines and meeting times, to respect my time and other people's time. As a highly competitive person, I would hate to die without rectifying my failures and finishing my projects.

The experience made me re-focus my life's priorities:

1. Finish writing the House of Sol Alpha trilogy
2. Serving as a Sigma Nu Chapter Advisor
3. Move to Nevada, away from the insane economic policies of California, to continue working my dream job
   
   

The experience also forced me to rethink human relationships:

1. I don't have to please stupid or ignorant people; there's no time for that
2. Reconnected with old friends who share the same values as I do
3. I amplified my focus on immersing in cultures that value science, reason, and freedom instead of cultures that are riddled with crab mentality, procrastination, and anti-intellectualism
   
   

And finally, the experience made me reform my businesses:

1. I refocused my offerings to photography, photo printing, and photo restoration only. These activities still spark joy and seeing happy client reactions is something I cherish.
2. I stopped offering graphic and web design services. I lost my interest in it except for personal projects and some legacy clients.
   
   

Time is fleeting and none of us can predict the future.

As a person diagnosed with ASD-1 (Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 / Asperger's), I already knew - and accepted - that my lifespan was significantly going to be shorter than my contemporaries and I had to work twice as hard. The condition is both a gift and a curse. Autism has given me the ability to hyperfocus and learn skills quickly, but I am not so good with reading people - I can never figure out what they want. I can come across as militant, blunt,  and terse - which has somewhat protected me from being manipulated and used, something that happens a lot with my fellow autistic people.

I won't let the downsides of autism control what I can do. Instead, I'll use its strengths.

I've got to stay the course and finish my work.

​There is much work to be done and I'm not through yet.